Providing students with a physical, emotional, and psychological school environment that is safe and respectful is our highest priority. We take a coordinated whole-school approach to bullying prevention. As part of this approach, students have the opportunity to contribute and to voice issues and concerns on emerging safety and well-being policies.
PEER CONFLICT, MEAN BEHAVIOUR, AND BULLYING: WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE?
It can be difficult for parents to know what is really happening when children experience conflict with each other. It’s important to distinguish rude, mean and bullying behaviour as each must be handled differently so as to keep children safe while supporting their social development when it comes to learning how to get along with others.
Peer Conflict: Conflict between and among peers is a natural part of growing up. Children will disagree and at times, find it impossible to solve their own problems. They may become frustrated to the point that they’ll blurt out mean words or act out physically. Peer conflict is defined when conflict occurs between children who usually play together, have equal power (similar age, size, social status), are equally upset, and are able to work things out with adult help (after calming down). Staff at our school respond by facilitating conflict resolution – to help the children talk it out, and see each other’s perspective.
Rude and Mean Behaviour: Elementary children can often be inadvertently rude. Their way of speaking or their actions may hurt others. They try out behaviours to assert themselves –sometimes saying or doing mean things –such as making fun of others, using a hurtful name, taking something without permission, leaving a child out, or “budging” in line. If it is mean behavior, usually it is not planned and seems to happen spontaneously or by chance. It may be aimed at any child nearby and the child being mean may feel bad when an adult points out the harm they’ve caused. When adults see mean behavior they should not ignore it. Adults should respond quickly, firmly, and respectfully to stop the behavior, to let kids know that their actions are hurtful, and to re-direct children to more positive behaviour. This quick response stops children from developing a pattern of mean behaviour as their way of interacting with peers and prevents mean behavior from escalating into bullying. It is a lot easier to correct a child for one nasty comment than to change a pattern of cruelty that grows over time.
Bullying Behaviour: Bullying is a serious behavior that has three key features –all three must be present for the situation to be considered bullying:
1) Power imbalance –One child clearly has power over the other(s), which may be due to age, size, social status, and so on.
2) Intention to harm –The purpose of the bullying behaviour is to harm or hurt other(s) –it’s intended to be mean and is clearly not accidental.
3) Repeated over time –bullying behaviour continues over time, and gets worse with repetition. There is a real or implied threat that the behaviour will not stop, and in fact will become even more serious. The effect on the child who is being bullied is increased fear, apprehension, and distress.
Often, by the time adults find out about what is happening, the child has tried many ways to stop the bullying but cannot do so on their own. At LGM, adults are required to address bullying behaviour and ensure the safety of the student who has been targeted immediately. Our staff will reassure the children who may have witnessed the behaviour that adults are taking care of the situation. Staff will also help the child who has been bullying others to take responsibility for their actions and change their behaviour. They will monitor the situation to ensure the bullying stops, and will support the child who has been bullied to regain confidence and a sense of safety.
Staff may also follow-up with the students who observed the behaviour to help them learn what to do when they see bullying. The “conflict resolution” style of bringing the children together is not recommended in bullying situations, until considerable time has gone by and all children are feeling safe enough to talk about what happened so that relationships can be healed.
REPORTING
Have you seen or heard something that concerns you?
Is someone or something bothering you or your friends at school?
The erase|Report It tool lets you send a secure, anonymous and confidential message to your school or school district’s safe school coordinator, who will follow up on it right away. You do not have to provide your name unless you want to.
Messages are only monitored during your school’s operational hours. If this is an emergency please call 911 immediately.
If you see or hear something, say something!
Visit the erase website to find resources for students, parents, and educators related to student safety, sexual orientation and gender identity, mental health and substance use.